Why Would God Allow Blended Families to Be So Hard?

There are days when I sit in silence and ask God, Why? Why would You allow us to end up in broken families, in blended families, when it feels so hard?

I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that these questions come from a place of deep love, the kind of love that aches when things don’t go as planned, when relationships are strained, and when the family we once dreamed of looks so different from reality.

I’ve often found myself wondering if God sees the heartbreak we go through as parents, step-parents, and children navigating blended family life. And if He does, why doesn’t He make it easier?

But over time, I’ve realised something: God never promised our journeys would be easy, but He did promise to walk with us through the hard moments.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." – Isaiah 43:2

Blended families stretch us in ways we never expected. We are forced to forgive even when it hurts, to love even when it’s complicated, and to be patient even when we’re exhausted. And maybe, just maybe, this is part of God’s plan for us.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." – Romans 8:28

God doesn’t create brokenness, but He uses it.

When I look at my own journey, I see how my struggles have shaped me. Every tear I’ve cried over feeling like I’m not enough for my child, every moment of self-doubt, and every hard conversation with my partner has pushed me to grow. I’ve learned that love is not always easy or pretty, but it is always worth it.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." – 2 Corinthians 12:9

God’s plan for blended families might not be to give us perfect harmony from day one, but to teach us how to build it; brick by brick, moment by moment. Perhaps He wants us to learn how to love deeply, forgive freely, and nurture patiently.

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." – Ephesians 4:2

In many ways, blended families are a reflection of God’s grace. We are brought together not by blood, but by choice. We choose each other every day, even when it’s hard. And that choice, that commitment, is powerful. So, if you’re feeling weary today, wondering what God’s plan is for your family, know this: He sees you. He sees your effort, your love, and your heartbreak. And even in the messiness, there is purpose.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." – Psalm 34:18

Maybe you’re meant to show your children that love can exist even after brokenness. Maybe your strength in blending your family will inspire someone else to keep going. Or maybe, just maybe, God is using your journey to teach you (and others) that love isn’t perfect, but it is always enough.

It’s okay to question, to cry, and to feel overwhelmed. But know that you are never alone in this.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." – 1 Peter 5:7

Yours in Love,

Blended Families South Africa